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Old 02-08-2010, 11:44 PM   #1   [permalink]
MeMyself
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Join Date: 4 Jun 2006
Posts: 848
Lightbulb Classified Ads

As a service, we offer these classified ads. For Call Boxes, dial 800-555-9999.

ROOMMATES

Seeking Roommate. Single 20ish female seeks same to share apartment and split expenses. No smokers or loud music. Call Nana K. Call Box R210.

Single alien female seeks roommate to assume all expenses. Contact Niea. Call Box R222.


HELP WANTED

Seeking would be vampire hunters. No experience necessary. We will train. Good pay and benefits. Go to www.Hellsing.org/recruit

Social Workers wanted to counsel orphan girls. Must have a psychology, social work, or similar degree. Must work well with children. Proficiency with high powered automatic weapons a must. Contact the Social Welfare Agency. 800-555-5491.

Dont think of it as being dead. Think of it as a career opportunity. Be a Soul Reaper! For more information, go to www.soulsociety.org.


POSITIONS WANTED

Seeks summer job. Eager teenaged girl seeks summer employment killing chiropterans. I have experience. Contact Saya at Call Box P111.

Experienced maid and battle android seeks a domestic or caretaker position. Employer must appreciate small breasts. Clothing optional positions acceptable, but no dirty thoughts. Contact Mohoro. Call Box S204.


SERVICES OFFERED

A Voice for the Ages. Diva is now available for bookings at parties, weddings, Bar Mitzvahs. Contact Nathan Mahler Productions. 800-555-4321.

Need a hand? Or an arm? Or a leg? Winry Rockbell can help! Best automail around. Check our website for our low prices: www.winryautomail.com

Cello lessons. Experienced teacher will take students of all ages. Contact Haji. Call Box S099.


PERSONALS

Missed connection. Me, the blonde vampire you saw walking in the park. You cut me to pieces. I would like to meet you for drinks and to get to know you better. Contact Arcueid. Call Box P123.

Boy seeks girl. Im a baseball fan with a crooked bat. Id like to find a girl who can straighten it out for me. Call Lil Slugger. Call Box P670.
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